Been tagged by D&C, and hopefully this will shake off the terrible infliction of writer’s block (if I dare call myself one). Work’s been too hectic- what with the entire paranoia of the year nearing the end, and closure being the buzz word- BossMan walking up and down the trading floor yelling at everyone around at the same time, shouting mostly the one word- “Close, Close!!!”
But tonight’s Saturday. Things are different. Meeting Anuja later in the evening and looking forward to it. And then BossMan is away for the coming week, attending an all important conference in a far away land- so that means I can do as I wish.
So D&C, eight things about me? Well you asked for it. I mean that’s exactly what I’ve been doing for over a year and a half on this blog, but now I can blame my narcissism on you, and with documentary evidence.
#1. I’ve wanted to be on a ship for a long time. Do random things, soak the sun on the deck with a beer by my side, get off at one port, and return once I’ve had my fill of a place, and wait for the next ship and write while I am on it in between. I have wanted to be a travel writer for too long. I mean, my attempts at fiction have failed miserably thus far. Travel writing is different. There are no heroes to create, no villains to kill, no marriages to concoct, or heartbreaks conjure. No great love, no mystery. Just the things which suffuse your mind through the five senses and sometimes the sixth. An easy and enormously entertaining activity. It obviously is an entirely different thing that I can’t ever get down reading anything that isn’t fiction, but then that’s different.
#2. I am often (wrongly) called a miser, but actually it’s a combination of laziness and procrastination. I mean, about a year back I decided to (and even blogged about) buy a house, upgrade to a car that would probably incentivise driving, buy myself that Harmon Kardon amp- but a year down the line nothing’s changed. Its not a nice thing, but it isn’t too bad either. IK (who incidentally is on a upgrade drive of late) after drawing up my personal balance sheet with remarkable accuracy pointed, prophesied I’ll never get hooked, because irrespective of the money in the bank, I’ll never add value to another person’s life just by being around. This accusation of not loosening my purse strings is most often flung at me by D, but I guess I have called for it. Of course she accuses me of many other things, but those later.
#3. People bore me. Probably it works both ways, and probably it’s a wrong thing for a sales guy to say, but then since this post is about me people can go fuck themselves. Most people insist they are uncomplicated, simple, nice and easy to get along with, and this turns me off in about twenty seconds flat. Simplicity is criminal- it is a denial of everything that’s beautiful. If you’re around me its gotta gotta sting- otherwise its not going anywhere.
#4. I’m a workaholic- and this is another of D’s accusations which I deny all the time. But its true. Nothing obsesses me as much work, and nothing drives me than the feeling of being driven. Sometimes even I am amazed with how much I love my job and everything that goes with it. The sheer thrill of moving markets, the pressure to closure, the rush of adrenaline, the magnitude of the moment, the here and now of things – it is just so addictive. So much so that I can’t even remember the last time I felt lousy about waking up at 6 in the morning and heading to work.
#5. I hate, and I don’t use that word often, hate people who use the word “Dude” to address me- and twang the “U”, if you know what I mean. It just sends the blood to a vein I didn’t know existed in my head, and I just downgrade that person to the list of people I wouldn’t meet if I had a choice. Dude- what the fuck- sounds so fucking borrowed. Go take it elsewhere pal- don’t try your just learnt to speaky English twang on me. And I really don't appreciate people who send me forwards. Never read a single one of them. Never. Staright to the Trash Can.
#6. I need to get married. After spending two consecutive weekends with female batch mates who extolled me on the virtues of long-term companionship and on how even my biological clock is ticking, its just looming large on my mind. I mean I am growing old- turn 30 next month. I can’t drink as much anymore- and that is a great reminder of age, and neither as frequently. But the entire stress of finding someone I’d remotely consider spending the rest of my life with seems so daunting. I have met people I like, but I realize that’s a finite set, and that there’s this entire universe of people like me for them to choose from. And I have a short attention span- really short, and that doesn’t go too well with such people. Incidentally, according to D, I won’t manage to marry ever.
#7. I hate driving. Simply hate. I like the feel of the wheel; the mechanics of the automobile- can spend an entire day fooling around with my car, and doing things. But somehow the thought of weaving through traffic, watching out for people and cars around me just scares me enormously. Its hard to explain- probably an outcome of my now famous attention span, but that’s it. It obviously has its inconveniences- women don’t like getting dressed up and being bundled into a smelly cab, neither do I, but the prospect of driving, of not being able down drinks, of abandoning caution is just too much.
#8. The last one already- umm, that’s a tough choice to be made. I am one hell of a narcissist. Though I make it a point not to bring it up in conversations, it somehow sneaks out. People sense it. They realize that I hold hardly anyone in awe, and in fact probably have a very low opinion of everyone else and that they the rare few I appreciate are genuinely stars in their own right- I mean I do posses a great sense of judgment in deciphering the good in people, but am not quite as discerning as I rank their shortcomings in my mind.
That's it- if I still have you.
PS: What to do- bad mood!!! Been like this for sometime now.